An Open Letter to Versus

A real nice open letter to Versus by the guys over at Faceoff-Factor.com
Pretty much sums up the feelings of most Pens fans when it comes to the bias that we sense in the VS booth. When your team is dominating a series 3-0 and you STILL feel as if somehow the duo in the booth is against your team….it’s hard to ignore. If your team is down 3-0 you may feel that the announcers are piling on top of your misery while you watch the game…..but to be elated and FIRED UP all game long yet the announcers somehow noticeably drag you down….it’s time to write an open letter. Written by Stoosh at FF. Enjoy.

Dear Versus,I tried. I really did.

I really wanted to like your hockey coverage. For real.

But you need to understand something. See, I come from the generation of fans who grew up with NHL coverage on ESPN and ESPN2. I was graced with the smooth stlyings of Gary Thorne, Bill Clement, Darren Pang and Tom Mees. Myself and most of the fans in my generation also watched John Buccigross and crew set the standard for hockey recap shows with NHL2Night. It was edgy, but not over-the-top. Even better, it was fair and balanced coverage.

So you can understand our concern when ESPN backed away from the NHL after the lockout, leaving the door open for OLN/Versus. But I shrugged my shoulders and said, “What the heck…give it a chance.” After all, I thought it was better for my favorite game to be broadcast by a network that really seemed to want it, and I was under the impression that ESPN was going to treat the NHL like a second-class citizen at the time.

I didn’t mind that original set you used, even though it looked like something that could’ve been broadcast out of my basement. I looked past those early broadcasts marred with jumpy camera shots, poor play-by-play coverage and intrusive graphics and interfaces. I chalked it all up to a network just learning how to broadcast a game, and I figured it would get better.

Unfortunately, guys, it hasn’t. In fact, it’s worse than ever.

Your camerawork is terrible – bad angles, inconsistent shots, shots that don’t mesh with the flow of the game. Would it kill your producers to stick with the same camera for more than five seconds? I don’t need behind-the-net shots as the play is going on. I don’t want the camera zoomed in on a particular player, especially when the play is going on and he’s not involved (sense a theme here?). I sure as hell don’t need to see the goalie going to the bench as his team in lieu of a pending powerplay or a shot at a late game-tying goal. Just tell me he’s left the net and keep the camera on the action, m’K?

I don’t care what Bill Patrick has on tap in the studio, especially when there’s a post-whistle fight going on. And speaking of in-game interruptions, can we save Christine Simpson’s 10-minute interviews for the intermissions? I really don’t care what Tom Glavine or the Umberger family has to say while the game is going on, and it didn’t seem like they were too thrilled with being interrupted either.

Now let’s talk about your announcers for a second. Mike Emrick is fine. He gets so excited, he could probably jumpstart a car from the booth. And he gets loud enough sometimes to challenge the decibel level of your average Metallica concert. But Emrick typically has a sense fot the game flow. Ed Olczyk usually provides color for Mike’s play-by-play and that’s all good now that Edzo finally seems to be taking fewer veiled shots at Craig Patrick for firing him.

It’s the OTHER crew that’s causing the problems. I don’t know what Pens fans did to Versus to merit this kind of torture, but Joe Beninati and Darren Eliot make Eric Dickerson and Beasley Reece look like broadcasting Hall of Famers.

Beninati’s tendency to get cute with his commentary and replace common hockey jargon with cute little terms of his own is bad enough. It’s a “powerplay”, not a “manpower advantage.” I hear him say “manpower advantage” and I think of a bad Village People video. And unless we’re getting play-by-play of a drug bust, those things the goalie wears on his legs aren’t “paraphernalia”, they’re just goalie pads.

Darren Eliot is a whole other ball of wax. Is this the BEST you could get for a color guy? He’s there to provide color commentary – not turn every semi-routine play into a Shakespearean act. When he and Beninati get together for a broadcast, it’s like an acute overdose of hyperbole.

But this Eastern Conf. Finals series has been the kicker for me. I can deal with bad commentary and stuff from time to time. But I have to wonder if “V-E-R-S-U-S” is some sort of goofy acronym for “Flyers Broadcast Network” or something. I’ve never heard a national broadcast tilted in favor of one team the way Beninati and Eliot have done in favor of the Flyers with this one.

Look, I’m well aware of the Pens’ status as the NHL’s New England Patriots. The Pens are one of the most talked-about teams in hockey and Sidney Crosby’s face is everywhere, and most non-Pens fans are probably sick of it. I’m not complaining about that. It doesn’t justify taking the broadcast in the opposite direction and practically cheering for one team. I could get watch a Yankees game on the YES Network with Hank Steinbrenner and Billy Crystal in the booth and get less tilted commentary.

And I’ve heard it advanced that money buys better talent, and Versus just doesn’t have a hell of a lot of money. Horsepucky, I say. Versus is owned by Comcast (which, coincidentally, also owns the Flyers…), and I’m sure Comcast has money to throw around if it wants to, given what they used to do to my cable bill (let’s just say there’s a reason why I reach for my DirecTV remote every time I turn on the television).

But is this what the NHL wants? I hope not because it’s turning people away. The NHL has a good, simple, entertaining product that doesn’t need to be overproduced. Not everything needs to be turned into a signature Al Michaels moment. And balanced coverage makes everyone happy.

Maybe it’s just time for the NHL to cut Versus loose. It’s nothing personal at all…Versus has tried and it hasn’t worked. The quality is second-rate, and the NHL deserves better. The fans of the NHL deserve much better.

So consider this our breakup, Versus. There might be times where I’ll still have to acknowledge you because you have exclusive rights to a Pens broadcast, but I’ll do so with my TV muted and my radio tuned to Mike Lange and Phil Bourque. Any delay problems will be small potatoes compared to the auditory torture of listening to another Beninati-Eliot broadcast.

Enough is enough.